


I've Got Two Tickets

by NerdsbianHokie



Series: What She's Missing [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Background Alex/Max Lord, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, but it doesn't last, compulsory heterosexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 08:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10184813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden babyCome with me Friday, don't say maybeI'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like youORAlex Danvers cannot figure out why she wants to be Maggie Sawyers friend so much.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the Postmodern Jukebox cover of [Teenage Dirtbag](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snh-ufvXWIk), because the line 'it's prom night and I'm so lonely' hits me with Maggie feels every time I hear it.
> 
> A follow up to Lo and Behold, only from Alex's POV.

The ocean was the one constant Alex Danvers had in her life.

Learning to walk on the sand.  Standing steady on a surfboard before she had fully mastered running.  Beach parties and dawn surfing with her father and camping with the surf lulling her to sleep.

After seventeen years, the ocean had become the one thing she could rely on to stay the same.

Everything in her family had changed.  Everything at school had changed.  Even Vicky had changed.

And her father…

She shook her head, trying to get rid of the thought.

Her morning surf was supposed to help her forget.

It usually did.

But, the ocean was quiet beneath her board and she had fought with her mother the night before and all she could do was think.

About how some of the first words she had actually said to her mother since her father’s empty casket had been buried had scratched at her throat as she shouted them.  About how the first words her mother had said to her had been quiet, and judging, and full of disappointment.

About Vicky barely looking at her in the halls since their last fight.

About how Kara’s nightmares had come back with a vengeance, and how it had fallen to her to comfort her sister.

About Max’s latest attempt to get her to sleep with him.

About how she was alone in the water.  About how her father wasn’t laughing from the board next to her.  About how he wasn’t there to throw her off of her board because how else was she going to end up in the water with no waves?

Because he was…

She took a deep breath to fight off the weight in her chest.

That was exactly what she was not supposed to be thinking about in the moment.

She turned her board around to paddle back to shore.  If she couldn’t keep the thoughts at bay, she would at least not let them dirty her only safe space.

She caught a glimpse of the girl running past as she turned.

That was another thing she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about.

The first new kid in her grade since seventh grade.

All Alex knew about her was her name, passed through the gossip chain within days.

Maggie Sawyer.

They had never spoken.  They had no classes together.  They didn’t hang out in the same circles.

And, yet, Alex  _ wanted  _ to get to know her.

Alex found herself scanning the halls for a glimpse, found herself always knowing where she was sitting during lunch, couldn’t help but watch as she ran past her most mornings.

She slipped off of her board and walked out of the water.  She dropped her board in the sand, and peeled off the top half of her wetsuit, letting it hang around her waist as she sat.

Maybe she could understand wanting to be friends with Maggie.  She was missing Vicky more and more, and Kara was making more friends, and Max never just wanted to hang out, and she was probably just lonely.

What she couldn’t understand was the warmth she felt every time she caught a glimpse of Maggie.  She couldn’t understand why she had dreamed of her and Maggie holding hands as they walked down the beach.

Did she really want to be friends with Maggie that bad?

Even footsteps behind her let her know that Maggie had turned around, and was running past again.

It was almost always just the two of them out in the morning.  The stretch of ocean Alex surfed was more secluded and most surfers stuck to areas where people would know if they wiped out.  The path Maggie ran on was equally avoided by local joggers, who hated the crumbling path, and typically preferred to run where they could watch the surfers.

Alex knew why she surfed there - it was the only place that was still just hers and her dad’s - but she had no idea why Maggie ran there.

Maybe for the same reason the other morning runners ran past the other surfers.

No.  No, that was ridiculous.

Why would Maggie run that way to see her surf?  Did she want to be friends too?

Or, was it like the girls who ogled the boys who were surfing?

Could Maggie…like her?

Alex looked over her shoulder, watching Maggie run.  She pulled in a soft breath.  A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Wait.

Did she…?

No.

No.

She liked boys.  She was dating Max.  She  _ liked  _ Max.

Alex groaned and fall back on the sand.  She stared up at the sky

She liked Max.  She liked boys.  She liked boys.

If she said it enough, maybe she’d drive the doubts away.

* * *

Max’s smile after she kissed him always seemed more like a smirk.  Like the cat that got the canary.  His arm around her waist always felt possessive, felt like a reminder.

Was a reminder.

This was what a relationship was supposed to be like.

This was what she was supposed to want.

That’s what all the books and movies and TV shows told her.  That’s what all of her friends told her as they gushed over how perfect she and Max were.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

Max’s arm fell from her waist, his hand running down her ass as she stood.

She tensed, torn between wanting to pull away from the contact, and letting him because she was supposed to.

He pulled her back, hugging her from behind, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck.

“Tonight, babe,” he murmured.

Tonight?  They had prom, but why would…

Oh, he thought she had reacted because she liked it?  Did he expect them to have sex after prom?

She just smiled and nodded.  She’d figure it out later.

Max pressed another kiss to her neck, then stepped around her and strode away to catch up to Rick.

“You two are so cute,” Sarah sighed, pressing her shoulder against Alex as they walked after Max.

Alex smiled, lowered her head, and nodded.

Yeah, they were cute.

Her brow furrowed as Max absently shoved someone out of his way and into a table.

“Max!” she called after him, stepping up to the person.

Max turned.  He shrugged, still walking backwards.

“What?  It was an accident.”

Alex rolled her eyes as Max spun back around.  She turned to —

Maggie Sawyer, looking up at her with large eyes.

“Sorry about that,” she forced out, forced casually.  “You okay?”

Maggie nodded.

“Good.”

Alex meant to turn, meant to keep going, but… Wow.  She had never seen eyes sparkle like that in the sunlight.

“Alex!”

She turned at Max’s voice, then rolled her eyes.  She turned back to Maggie.

“Sorry, again.”

Maggie nodded, then Alex turned away and walked to Max.

If her skin crawled as he took her hand it his, she did nothing but ignore it.

* * *

The smell of the ocean never failed to calm her.  The salt, the water, the dictyopterenes and the bromophenols.

It reminded her of her father - of bonfires and stargazing and falling asleep against his chest.

Alex brushed her tears away as she walked on the sand.

She would have gone home if he was there.  He wouldn’t have questioned why she was home so early.  He wouldn’t have chided her for messing up her make-up.  He would have hugged her, and made her hot chocolate, and gone out to the beach to make up stories about the constellations until she laughed.

But he wasn’t there, and the thought of going home to her mother and Kara had sent her on a walk down the beach.

She just didn’t want to explain.

And how could she?

How could she tell her mother that she had left prom early because her boyfriend told her that he had gotten them a hotel room?  How could she tell her mother that her boyfriend was pressuring her to have sex?  How could she tell her mother that she didn’t want to have sex with him?  That she had broken up with him over it?

Would her mother even believe her?

She didn’t want to find out.

So, she was walking down the beach, heels in her hand, dress dragging through the sand, the ocean her only companion.

She looked to the water as she reached the stretch where she surfed.  She took a deep breath, then kept walking.

She needed to keep moving.  If she stopped, her thoughts would spiral, and she needed…not that.

So she kept walking.  She left her space behind and continued down the beach.

It wasn’t long before she came upon the old playground.

None of the kids in the neighborhood played on it anymore, not with the new one built less than two miles up the shore, but the city seemed to have no plans to take it down.

Which was fine with Alex.  She had a lot of memories on the old thing.

And there was currently someone sitting on a swing.

Alex slowed, then nearly tripped when she realized who it was.

Maggie Sawyer.

Who was gently pushing herself with a toe in the sand.  Who was looking down at her watch.  Who practically glowed in the moonlight.

“Hey.”  Alex spoke before she could stop herself.

She could see how Maggie tensed, how she watched her as Alex walked to the swing set.

Why did that look make her feel more than anything Max ever did?

“Anyone sitting here?”

Alex winced.  Of course nobody was sitting there.  It was a swing, on a deserted beach, on prom night.

Maggie just shook her head.  She continued to watch Alex for another moment, then looked down at the sand.

Alex stared out at the water.  The surf was decent.  She would probably be able to catch a few waves if she had her board.

And with the moon overhead, it was just light enough for her to justify the danger of surfing in the dark.

To herself anyway.  Her mother would flip.

“What are you doing here?”

Alex blinked.  “I’m…not sure, actually.”

“You’re skipping prom for unknown reasons?”

Except, she knew her reasons.  She just…did she want to share them with somebody she hardly knew?

“Max got us a hotel room.”

Apparently, she did.

Alex stared at the ocean.  That may have been the problem at face value, but it went deeper than that.  She thought, running the words over and over through her head until they landed in an order that made sense.

“I didn’t understand.  I kept, turning him down, pushing  _ it  _ off, y’know?”  She shrugged.  “I just…didn’t know why.  And Max has been getting more and more persistent, and it’s been getting harder to say no.  I just always feel so guilty after.  Like, I’m failing, but I just…I don’t think I like him like that.  Or at all, really.”

“Then why are you with him?”

The question hit Alex in the gut.  Why was she…?  Why had she been dating him?  She knew.  She knew why.  She just…oh.

The reasons started to run through her mind.  Exact and ordered and with the same feeling she felt when listing the points for an essay.

She glanced at Maggie, then looked back at the water when she met Maggie’s eyes, wide and intense.

“I have a list.”  She did.  She did.  She laughed.  “I didn’t even realize I made it, but…”  She shook her head.  “He’s smart.”  He could actually keep up with her in conversations.  She still occasionally pretended she wasn’t as smart around him, but it wasn’t as bad as her last boyfriend.  “He can be funny.  He’s cute, I guess.”  Other girls around school constantly told her how lucky she was to be dating him.  She always heard about how good they looked together.  “He’s always nice to Kara, and respectful to my mom.”  Both very important.  “He was there for me after…”

She closed her eyes and fought to keep breathing.  Max had held her when she cried after the funeral, making him the only person to actually see her cry over it.  He had brought her extra food during lunch.  He had made sure nobody at school bothered her.

She shook her head and opened her eyes.  “He was there.  And he’s…he’s…”

This last reason.  The one she had been fighting.  She wrapped an arm around her stomach.  She could say it.  She could.  She had to.

“He’s a boy.”  The words came out forced, but the following ones tumbled loose.  “I’m supposed to be the perfect daughter.  Perfect grades.  Perfect college lined up with the perfect degree program.  I do what I can to help Kara, to help my mom around the house after…”  Her voice faltered, but she pushed forward to the next thought.  “Perfect.  And that includes the perfect boyfriend, cause how can I be perfect if I…”

Oh, God.  Her mom was going to hate her.  Kara was probably going to hate her.  What would her dad have thought?  All that mattered was that she kept Kara safe, that she wasn’t too much of a burden on her mom.

How could she do that if she was…like this?

“If you…?”

Maggie’s voice settled over her.

Maggie knew, Alex realized.  Maggie knew what was going on in her mind, and her voice was soft and reassuring and how could so much get through on just two words?

Maybe if there was at least one person on her side, she could do it.

“If I don’t like boys.  If I…if I like girls instead.”

A weight lifted off of her chest.  She let out a laugh that nearly turned into a sob.  She could feel her tears reach the corners of her smile.

She nodded.

“I…”  She swallowed, and turned to Maggie.

Maggie with her soft smile, with her dimples.  Maggie with her sparkling eyes, and the way they were filled with understanding.

And, it made sense.  Why she looked for Maggie in a crowded room.  Why she always felt better after seeing her.  Why she longed to be her friend, be closer than friends.

This was what a crush felt like.

“I like girls.”  _  I like you. _

Maggie froze.

Alex’s heart pounded as Maggie’s smile fell just a bit.  Had she miscalculated?  Did Maggie not understand?  She fucked up.

“I do, too.”

Alex couldn’t stop her smile from growing into a grin.

It was there, in the way Maggie’s face lit up after the moment, in her eyes as she watched Alex, in her smile.

Maggie liked girls.  Maggie liked  _ her _ .

Alex looked at the ocean to try and hide the blush rising up her neck.  Maggie liked her.  She liked Maggie and Maggie liked her and she liked girls and a girl liked her and was this what it was supposed to feel like and was she supposed to say something and say something say something.

“I, um, I’ve noticed that you wear Iron Maiden shirts, and there’s a cover band, The Iron Maidens, playing in Greenville next Friday.  I may be able to get us tickets.”

Maggie stared at her.

Was that right?  She had never asked anyone out before, let alone another girl.  What if she did it wrong?

“I hate Iron Maiden.”

Oh.  Fuck.

“They’re my aunt’s shirts,” Maggie quickly pushed forward.  “They’re just really soft, and I think the art is kinda cool, but if you like them…”

Alex laughed.

“I hate them, too,” she admitted.  She rubbed the back of her neck.  Art.  She said she liked the art.  “The art museum in the city is pretty cool.  They got a Dada exhibit last month I’ve heard good things about.”

“Are you asking me on a date to a museum?”  Maggie didn’t sound condescending or flippant.

Alex blushed, kicking her feet as she shrugged.  She liked museums, but since she lost her dad, nobody had wanted to go with her.  Her mom was too busy, and wouldn’t let her take Kara that far away.  Max hated museums, preferring dates in movie theaters or corner booths in fancy restaurants.

“Make it the science museum,” Maggie said.  “And I think I could be persuaded.”

Alex turned to her.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Alex grinned, laughing as Maggie tried to hide her own smile.

This was what falling for somebody felt like.

She could stay high on it forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to note that their issues don’t, in fact, vanish because they start dating. They do still have a lot to work through.
> 
> Remember how I said in the first fic that this wasn't going to be a series? It still isn't.... but there may be one more piece.


End file.
